Media

Forsake your sins, and go no more after the lusts of your eyes.

- Alma 39:9

It may seem strange to introduce the topic of media with a scripture about forsaking sins and not going after the lusts of our eyes. Nevertheless, media is often the lust of our eyes and our ears. How often do we schedule our evenings around what is on television that evening? How much time do we spend listening to music through headphones rather then engaging in conversation with those around us? While television and music are not necessarily horrible things, they can sometimes be perverted for the purposes of Satan.

Consider carefully the words of the prophet Alma to his wayward son, Corianton, “Forsake your sins, and go no more after the lusts of your eyes.” (Alma 39:9.) What else can the expression "the lusts of your eyes,” be applied to in our day? Movies, television programs, and video recordings that are both suggestive and crude. Magazines and books that are obscene and pornographic. Musical lyrics that promote violence and inappropriate sexual behavior.

President Ezra Taft Benson taught, "We counsel you, young men [and women], not to pollute your minds with such degrading matter, for the mind through which this filth passes is never the same afterwards. Don’t see R-rated movies or vulgar videos or participate in any entertainment that is immoral, suggestive, or pornographic. Don’t listen to music that is degrading."

As I meet with various youth, I inevitably hear about a song or a television show that, "really isn't that bad." I even hear adults talk about certain movies which have, as the adult will readily admit, "questionable language," but "hey, it is really funny."

Elder Cree-L Kofford noted, "All too often, we get ourselves enmeshed in the process of trying to understand why God gave us a particular commandment. We want to rationalize. I don’t know where that is more evident than in watching movies. Young people know they should not watch R- or X-rated movies, and yet time after time I hear them say, 'Well it’s only rated R because it’s violent.' What difference does it make why it is rated R? The fact is, a prophet of God has said not to go to R-rated movies. That ought to be good enough."

It is ridiculous to assume why God gave us a commandment in order to justify ourselves for breaking it. For example, would it be fair for me to kill someone because I believe that the commandment, "Thou shalt not kill," (Exodus 20:13) only applies to people that I like; not people I do not get along with? I would hope that you would agree that such justification is contrary to God's commandments. Thus, why should we justify ourselves in watching R-rated movies, viewing pornography, or listening to music with inappropriate lyrics?

Sadly, there will always be those who will try to justify the little things that are wrong with their movies or music by arguing that it is not really that bad, or that the good points outweigh the bad.

To these people Nephi spoke, "And others will [Satan] pacify, and lull them away into carnal security. ...

"And behold, others he flattereth away, and telleth them there is no hell; and he saith unto them: I am no devil, for there is none - and thus he whispereth in their ears, until he grasps them with his awful chains, from whence there is no deliverance" (2 Nephi 28:21-22).

Marvin J. Ashton challenged youth, "cooperate with parents who are concerned about your reading and your viewing. Be concerned yourself about what you take into your mind. Young people, you would never eat a meal of spoiled or contaminated food if you could help it, would you? Select your reading and your viewing carefully and in good taste."

When we justify watching a movie with only one or two sex scenes, because it has a good story, it is like eating a delicious meal with only one or two cockroaches in it. Do not justify sin, it is never worth it.

Elder M. Russell Ballard pointed out "often media's most devastating attacks on family are not direct or frontal or openly immoral. Intelligent evil is too cunning for that, knowing that most people still profess belief in family and in traditional values. Rather the attacks are subtle and amoral - issues of right and wrong don't even come up. Immorality and sexual innuendo are everywhere, causing some to believe that because everyone is doing it, it must be all right."

Just because "everyone is doing it," does not mean that you should. First off, not everyone is doing it. Furthermore, as Elder M. Russell Ballard taught:

"Now, I'm aware there may be a few of you who think that you know better than the leaders of the Church about this subject. You may even argue that there is artistic merit or that 'everyone is doing it.' You may believe that you are not one of those people who will be influenced by on-screen sex or violence. To you I have only one question: are you going to follow the true and living prophets or not? It really isn't any more complicated than that. The standard of the Church with regard to morality is clear. If you choose to read anything that contains material that is contrary to the moral standards of the Church, then you are placing yourself and your own wisdom above the counsel of God and His prophets - a course of action that would indeed be very unwise. As soon as you begin to think that you know better than the leaders of the Church, that our counsel doesn't apply to you, you are stepping onto a slippery slope that has claimed far too many victims already. It takes real desire and unequivocal, unreserved faith to accept and to live prophetic counsel even when you may not completely understand it. Such sincere desire and simple faith has the power to guide you safely through every challenge you may face in your life."

You are never benefited by justifying sin - not even if others are doing it. However, you will always be blessed as you follow God's commandments, as given by his prophets. I once worked at LDS Family Services. One of my responsibilities included leading a therapy group for men with addictions to pornography. The men ranged from 18 to 60-plus. Nearly all of them got in to pornography thinking it was no big deal - that they could quit anytime. Only when they tried to quit did they realize how difficult it was. If you are involved in pornography, you may feel it would be easy to quit. You may feel it will not be a problem for you to give up prior to serving as a missionary. I promise that you will be surprised at how difficult of an addiction it will be to overcome - you may not even realize you are addicted. Seek help from your parents and bishopnow. Do not wait until just before your mission. Overcoming the pornography habit will take longer than you think. No matter how long it takes you will find great happiness when your life is in line with God's commandments.

The leaders of the Church are more "in touch" than you may give them credit for. As President Gordon B. Hinckley acknowledged, "You face tremendous temptation. It comes at you in the halls of popular entertainment, on the Internet, in the movies, on television, in cheap literature, and in other ways - subtle, titillating, and difficult to resist. Peer pressure may be almost overpowering. But, my dear young friends, you must not give in. You must be strong. You must take the long look ahead rather than succumbing to the present seductive temptation."

Follow the counsel provided in For the Strength of Youth regarding the forms of entertainment you choose.

Do not waste away your existence surfing the Internet or playing video games. This is not to say that these things are completely useless - they can be quite good for alleviating stress. However, they can often dominate one's life. Elder Steven E. Snow observed, "too often we are reluctant to enter the next stage, begin the next challenge. Maybe we are too comfortable, fearful, or lacking in faith. ... Our parents’ basement, with unlimited video games, may be more appealing than college, marriage, or a career."

You must be involved in developing other ways of coping with stress. As you prepare to serve as a missionary, Elder L. Tom Perry instructed, "you must recognize that missionary service is emotionally demanding. Your support system is going to be withdrawn from you as you leave home and go out into the world. Many of the ways you use now to cope with emotional stress - like hanging out with friends, going off by yourself, playing video games, or listening to music - are not allowed by the rules of missionary conduct. There will be days of rejection and disappointment. Learn now about your emotional limits, and learn how to control your emotions under the circumstances you will face as a missionary."

Learning now how to cope with stress will help you not only as a missionary, but throughout adulthood. Spend time learning new hobbies, playing sports, reading and writing. Do not isolate yourself, but become involved.

Elder Perry further observed, "more and more, young people are isolating themselves from others by playing video games; wearing headphones; and interacting through cell phones, e-mail, text messaging, and so on instead of in person. Much of missionary work involves relating face-to-face with people, and unless you set the bar higher in the development of your social skills, you will find yourself underprepared. Let me offer a simple suggestion: get a job that involves interacting with people."

Part of the problem with modern media is that it can become consuming. Why spend your time watching other people live their dreams instead of living out your own dreams? Get a job, get involved in the community and in Church activities - live your own life. As the Lord commanded, "Cease to be idle" (D&C 88:124).

Elder Dallin H. Oaks observed, "Some young people are amusing themselves to death - spiritual death." Do not skip Church youth activities to participate in other entertainments or community activities. Do not spend time surfing the Internet at the expense of serving the Lord through your church responsibilities. Do not devote time to downloading movies or music illegally. It is stealing, no matter how you try to justify it. Just as you would wish to be compensated for your work, pay others for the work they do.

Live your life by being creative. It takes no creativity to watch a movie or listen to a song. Spend your time learning new skills. It will take time, but you will feel greater satisfaction when you have accomplished such a task than you will at having memorized the lines of your favorite movie.

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf taught, "Everyone can create. You don’t need money, position, or influence in order to create something of substance or beauty. Creation brings deep satisfaction and fulfillment. We develop ourselves and others when we take unorganized matter into our hands and mold it into something of beauty."

Media can be wonderful when you seek out uplifting materials. Even then, do not let movies, television, music, pornography, or any other thing, prevent you from living your life. Spend your time in prayer learning what talents God has blessed you with. Then, go out and develop your talents.

Goals for this week:

• Get rid of any R-rated movies or inappropriate music you own. Stop watching any television shows that are not uplifting.
• If you are of age, get a job. Become involved with people face-to-face - not just through texting, e-mail, or chat rooms.
• Develop a hobby - learn to make things or fix things. These talents will help you deal with stress in an appropriate manner and provide you a sense of accomplishment.

The Power of Language

And thus the language of Nephi began to be taught among all the people of the Lamanites.

- Mosiah 24:4

Over 400 years after Lehi's family left Jerusalem, there was a king of the Lamanites named Laman. He was not a righteous man, but he did realize the important of language. Therefore he appointed teachers so that the Lamanites "should keep their record, and that they might write one to another" (Mosiah 24:6).

Apparently, over the course of time since separating themselves from the Nephites, the Lamanites had not bothered to teach their children how to read or write. Their communication with each other was therefore limited. Their knowledge of written language was so poor, they probably could not have even communicated through texting (which is a language your parents may never understand)!

While it would be useless for me to try to make you give up texting as a language, I would encourage to learn how to use the English language properly. One of the best ways for learning how to write is by reading a variety of books. The Lord counseled, "seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom" (D&C 88:118). As you read, you learn to associate how words are arranged for proper grammar. Take the time to look up words you do not know. When writing reports for school, use spell check. However, do not become over-reliant on any spell check program. The talent of learning to spell for yourself will be important at any job you will have in the future - your boss will be impressed. You would probably be amazed by the number of college graduates that are horrible spellers. Your ability to spell will put your resume at the top of the list when it comes to applying for jobs in the future.

President Gordon B. Hinckley taught, "there can be no doubt, none whatever, that education pays. Do not short-circuit your lives." Take the time to learn the nuances of the language you speak (also, take the time to learn what the term "nuance" means). Do not take the easy way out and joke about your poor spelling or writing skills. Instead, work to improve these skills. Regardless of your employment aspirations, you will do written work for your boss. Poor spelling and the inability to communicate effectively through writing can mean the difference between a promotion and remaining in the same job for years to come.

Not only is writing an important skill to master, but also the skill of public speaking. Nephi tells us he was not "mighty in writing, like unto speaking" (2 Nephi 33:1). You may not feel you are a great speaker. I often feel the opposite way of Nephi, that my writing ability is better than my speaking. You may think I am not very good at either!

One of the best ways to improve your speaking skills is to focus on the positive attributes of your own speaking and build on that. Pay attention to other speakers you meet at school, church, or in the community. What do they do well? Can you use it in your own talks?

Scott Adams, author of Dilbert, once attended a Dale Carnegie Public Speaking course. A portion of his experience is shared below. You can find the full text here and here.

The Dale Carnegie approach to teaching public speaking is to compliment the speaker for whatever he or she does well, and never mention any flaws....

The first day was grim. One woman stood frozen in front of the group, unable to generate an intelligible word. Beads of sweat literally dripped off her chin. It was horrible to watch. She choked out a few words and returned to her seat, defeated. Our instructor came to the front of the room and said, "Wow. That was really brave."

And it was. We all knew it was true. This woman had put her head in the lion’s mouth. Suddenly we all realized we had witnessed something important. We applauded. And it changed her. Each week, she managed a little bit more. And each week the instructor and the class recognized her achievement. By the end of the course, everyone in the class was an exceptional speaker, and we all looked forward to our few minutes in front of the class. It was like witnessing a frickin' miracle.

If you have ever had to speak, whether in school or at church, odds are you have picked up on everything you have done wrong. You probably feel as if you have failed at the end of speaking. Thus, Dale Carnegie's method is for your classmates to focus on what you do well. You already know what you have done wrong - there is no sense in hearing it again. However, when you hear what you have done well, it provides you with a base on which to build - much like the woman in the story who succeeded in overcoming her fear of speaking.

One way of overcoming your fear of speaking is to be well prepared on the topic you are speaking. As the Lord says, "if ye are prepared ye shall not fear" (D&C 38:30). That is not to say you should memorize all that you plan to say, but that you should be well-versed in your topic. Thus, when the Lord counsels you to "take no thought beforehand what ye shall speak" (Mark 13:11), it is not to say you should not study your topic, but that you should not have a memorized speech. Instead, you should understand His words so well that they are written upon your heart (see 2 Corinthians 3:2-3) and you can speak about them without a script.

When you are speaking in school or in church, you can benefit from writing down general notes to remind you of things to say. Having such notes enables you to stay on topic (if you are prone to wander) while able being able to be prompted by the Spirit (which you may be tempted to ignore if you are constrained by a script).

Some additional helps in preparing a talk for church can be found here: "The Seven Deadly Sins of Sacrament Meeting Talks" by Christian A. Johnson - OR - "Ten Tips for Terrific Talks" from the "Prepare a Talk" section at the official LDS Church website.

In addition to knowing how to use language, be sure to use clean language. You may think you will impress your friends by knowing bad words are being able to share a lot of dirty jokes. However, regardless of whether or not they laugh, you will not have gained their respect. I used to have the following quote hanging in my office: “Profanity is the attempt of a lazy and feeble mind to express itself forcefully.” When someone uses profanity to support their argument, it shows that either the person or their argument is weak - probably both. There is never a good reason to swear. Think about it - can you think any situation where swearing would be the decent and proper thing to do? If you can, it is probably not a situation you should be involving yourself in to begin with. Again, there is never a good reason to swear.

Jesus taught, "that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man" (Matthew 15:11). In a general epistle to the entire Church issued by the First Presidency on April 8, 1887, a hundred years ago, they said concerning this problem, which evidently was serious then as it is now, "The habit ... , which some young people fall into, of using vulgarity and profanity ... is not only offensive to well-bred persons, but it is a gross sin in the sight of God, and should not exist among the children of the Latter-day Saints" (as quoted by President Gordon B. Hinckley).

Not only should you use clean language, but your words should be kind. The jokes you tell should not be intended to hurt others. You should not start, or pass on, gossip about someone with the intent to injure them.

If you have the habit of swearing or gossiping, how do you break it? The first step is making a decision to change. The next time you are tempted to use words you know to be wrong, or say things that are mean-spirited, simply stop. Keep your mouth shut or say what you have to say in a different way. As you practice such restraint, it will become easy. President Heber J. Grantoften quoted the following statement, which is sometimes attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson: "That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do - not that the nature of the thing is changed, but that our power to do is increased."

As you put forth the effort to increase your language skills and to speak kind words to - and about - others, you will be blessed with increased happiness.

Goals for this week:

• If you swear or use other rude language - stop. It is a difficult habit to break, but it will reap benefits when it comes time for searching for jobs in the future.
• Join an improv comedy group, the debate team, or the drama club at your school (if there is one). Each of these programs can facilitate your learning to speak in public.
• Read a book that you have never read before.
• Pay attention to the speaker in your next church meeting (regardless of how boring he or she may be). Take notes of at least three things that person does well. Try to incorporate these skills when you speak in public.

Understanding Others' Point of View

They were a wild, and ferocious, and a blood-thirsty people, believing in the tradition of their fathers, which is this—Believing that they were driven out of the land of Jerusalem because of the iniquities of their fathers, and that they were wronged in the wilderness by their brethren, and they were also wronged while crossing the sea;

- Mosiah 10:12

How many of your beliefs are based on what your parents have taught you? You may not believe everything your parents teach you, but most of your actions and beliefs are at least influenced by what your parents have taught you. For example, your beliefs about drugs, pre-marital sex, and murder likely started with whatever your parents taught you. These are your traditions. Just as a family may have traditions of Family Home Evening, prayer, and eating dinner together, there are many families with traditions that can be detrimental to themselves and others. I have met a number of families in which the use of illegal drugs and other substances were not only allowed, but encouraged. Obviously there will be traditions in every family which are not necessarily correct.

Such is the case with the Lamanites. As noted in the scripture above, generations of Lamanites had been raised to believe the Nephites had swindled them. A look at the early chapters of 1 Nephi will help us see how their views became tainted.

For example, Lehi (see 1 Nephi 8) and Nephi (see 1 Nephi 11), each have a dream about the Tree of Life which, as we learn from 1 Nephi 11:22, is symbolic of the Love of God. By being humble enough to ask God to confirm this, anyone could have learned the truth of Lehi' dream. However, Laman and Lemuel were not the type to go and pray about much of anything (see 1 Nephi 15:9). So, how would they possibly explain this to their posterity? Well, how would you explain it, if you didn't believe it? Lehi and Nephi were dreaming about great and spacious floating buildings (see1 Nephi 8:26) and magical fruit from some magical tree. In modern times, we would likely diagnose Lehi and Nephi with having some sort of drug-induced psychosis. It is entirely possible that Laman and Lemuel simply believed that their father and brother were crazy!

Laman was the first volunteer to go to get the brass plates (see 1 Nephi 3:11). He and Lemuel also gave up their possessions in an effort to get the plates. When they shared this experience with their posterity, they likely left out the fact that they were complaining the entire time. Laman and Lemuel were also visited by an angel (see 1 Nephi 3:29). They probably did not tell their children about how they were beating Nephi. Laman probably also told his children how Nephi had stolen his birthright, ignoring the fact that the Lord had "chosen [Nephi] to be a ruler over [them], and this because of [their] iniquities" (see 1 Nephi 3:29).

As you read more of the writings of Nephi, you can see examples of situations in which Laman and Lemuel are seeing things from a different point of view. These differences could have been resolved, had Laman and Lemuel been humble enough to go to the Lord with their difficulties, so that they could have been enlightened by the Spirit of God to better understand. How different the Book of Mormon could have been if only Laman and Lemuel had been willing to listen to the Spirit with their hearts and minds, rather than only listening to words with their ears!

How many times have you watched a movie or read a book in which a character eavesdropped on a portion of a conversation and became offended, even though they had not stayed around long enough to get the entire picture. Luckily, television shows and movies generally allow these unfortunate misunderstandings to be resolved with happy endings.

Sadly, too many of us habor hatred toward others simply because we haven't been willing to look at a situation from all angles.

In some situations, we may be in the right and others have feelings of hatred towards us. Understanding another person's point of view does not mean we have to agree with them. However, taking the time to understand them often allows the hatred and hurt to fade away.

As a youth, I felt left out at church. There were many youth in the ward. They always seemed to have parties and would sit in the lobby in between classes - never inviting me to join them. It got to the point where I didn't even want them to invite me anymore, I would rather be on my own.I would walk around the inside of the church building to waste away time between Sunday School and Priesthood meeting. The oval shape of the hallways in LDS Churches makes a great walking track - I should have been thinner for all the time I spent there. For years I felt bitter about being left out. This is not to say that the experience consumed my life - I simply do not have any fond memories of those times from my youth. After all, wasn't The Church supposed to be inclusive? Even President Gordon B. Hinckley taught that one of three things every member of the Church needs is "a friend." Thus, I felt I had been denied something in my youth.

Not until years later did I learn, in a letter from my brother, that people had viewed me as being stuck-up and unapproachable. In other words, I had pushed away potential friends by walking around my "track" rather than making an effort to be outgoing. This is not to say that the other youth shouldn't have made an effort to include me, but that I was not entirely innocent in my feelings of bitterness about being left out.

In teaching a solution to divorce, President Hinckley taught, "If every husband and every wife would constantly do whatever might be possible to ensure the comfort and happiness of his or her companion, there would be very little, if any, divorce. Argument would never be heard. Accusations would never be leveled. Angry explosions would not occur. Rather, love and concern would replace abuse and meanness."

While you may not be married, there is an important principle that President Hinckley is teaching. You are probably familiar with The Golden Rule: "Whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them." (Matthew 7:12). President Hinckley is teaching us a higher law: to not just do to others what you would like to have done to you, but rather to do to others what they want to have done.

You may feel that others around you are doing you wrong. You may also be entirely correct in this belief. However, Jesus would teach you to serve those around you. It is the best way of resolving differences. Although the world may justify you for being mean to those that were mean to you first, it will never bring you happiness. I've seen too many families destroyed by this belief. If you are kind to others, you will feel an increase of happiness - regardless of what others may do to you.

Growing up in my family, I remember that one of my older brothers, Steven, and one of my older sisters, Lisa, did not always get along so well. I was too young to know all of the details, but I do remember that Lisa was tired of Steven not being very sensitive to anyone else's needs. So Lisa began an experiment. She began telling Steven, on an almost daily basis, "Steven, you're so sensitive." Impressively, she was able to say this without the sarcasm that so many of us might be tempted to include. At first, this approach did not seem to help. If anything, Steven's behaviors got worse. As time went on, however, Steven lived up to the expectations my sister had placed on him. Today Steven is grown up and is busy with work and a family of his own. However, he is often the first to respond when there are events within our family (such as deaths, marriages, graduations, etc.). He may not be completely perfect, but having had someone expect more of him (in this case my sister), his behavior became kinder and gentler.

It is true that we may not always understand why people act the way they do. Even when we ask them, they may not be willing to tell us. However, we should take the time to love them regardless of how they may treat us in return.

Anyone who has been baptized has promised to be sensitive to others' needs. As Alma taught those who were in hiding from the wicked King Noah, we must be"willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort... that [we] may have eternal life" (Mosiah 18:9).

While you may feel that others owe you this kind of loving treatment, it is far more important that you treat others in this fashion. You must live as an example of the Savior.

Goals for this week:

• Introduce yourself to someone new - whether at church or at school.
  
• Do something nice for someone else who you feel is being unkind to you.

Honesty

And now it came to pass that when Zerahemnah had heard these sayings he came forth and delivered up his sword and his cimeter, and his bow into the hands of Moroni, and said unto him: Behold, here are our weapons of war; we will deliver them up unto you, but we will not suffer ourselves to take an oath unto you, which we know that we shall break, and also our children; but take our weapons of war, and suffer that we may depart into the wilderness; otherwise we will retain our swords, and we will perish or conquer.

- Alma 44:8

How often do we tell "little white lies" to get ourselves out of troublesome situations. In today's scripture, Zerahemnah had the opportunity to lie, escape, strengthen his army, and then return to battle Moroni. Alas, Zerahemnah refused to tell a "white lie." Instead, he stated, "we will not suffer ourselves to take an oath unto you, which we know that we shall break." Remember that Zerahemnah was the cause of much bloodshed among both the Lamanites and the Nephites. One would not typically think of such a murderous personality as having a conscience. Nevertheless, he was determined to be a man of our word.

As a young man, Zerahemnah must have learned at least one of the Ten Commandments: "Thou shalt not bear false witness" (see Exodus 20:16). However, the concept of "Thou shalt not kill" (see Exodus 20:13) must have escaped him.

How can we think of ourselves as being any better than a murderer if we allow ourselves to lie to those around us? I'm not saying we need to blurt out personal information to everyone you meet - there are somethings that should be reserved for private conversations. I only mean we should not be misleading in our dealings with others.

The booklet, True to the Faith, acknowledges that, "being honest often requires courage and sacrifice, especially when others try to persuade you to justify dishonest behavior. If you find yourself in such a situation, remember that the lasting peace that comes from being honest is more valuable than the momentary relief of following the crowd."

Being honest can certainly be difficult, but it is always worth it. The only exception I can think of to this rule would be for any young man, when asked by his girlfriend, "Does this dress make me look fat?" The correct answer will always be "You look great no matter what you wear."

All joking aside, it can be especially difficult to be honest when you know what you have to say is going to hurt a friend's feelings. For example, imagine that a friend of yours, Molly, has been dating Peter for a few months. As you walk into one of the more private hallways of your school, you see Peter making out with another girl. In this situation, although you know Molly's feelings will be hurt, it is relatively easy to tell her what Peter has done - knowing that doing so will help her avoid greater hurt in the future.

However, now imagine that Peter has been secretly making out with you. How difficult is it to be honest with Molly in this situation? If you do not tell her, you only prolong the inevitable and make her even more upset with you when she does find out. While telling her the truth would be the honest thing to do - there is an even more important lesson here about honesty. The Bible teaches us "thou shalt not covet" (Exodus 20:17) - which includes your best friends' boyfriend. The Bible further explains, "thou shalt not commit adultery" (Exodus 20:14), which Jesus explains, "whosoever looketh on a woman [or man] to lust after her [or him] hath committed adultery with her [or him] already in his [or her] heart" (Matthew 5:28). In other words, you are better off honoring your friend by not compromising your integrity with her boyfriend. Do not rationalize you way into dishonesty.

It is important to understand, however, honesty does not mean being blunt and rude. 1 Peter 3:10 instructs, "For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile." One of my favorite illustrations of this scripture comes from an experience in the Civil War, as noted in Dale Carnegie's book, How to Win Friends & Influence People.

General Robert E. Lee once spoke to the president of the Confederacy, Jefferson Davis, in the most glowing terms about a certain officer under his command. Another officer in attendance was astonished. "General," he said, "do you not know that the man of whom you speak so highly is one of your bitterest enemies who misses no opportunity to malign you?" "Yes," replied General Lee, "but the president asked my opinion of him; he did not ask for his opinion of me."

Christ had many opportunities in his life to speak honestly of his accusers. However, he always spoke of forgiveness to them. I repeat, honesty does not mean being blunt and rude.

As an example, Ammon was honest in his dealings with the Lamanites, as he served among them as a missionary. In Alma 18, Ammon was called before King Lamoni, as the King supposed him to be a God. Ammon was honest with the King as he explained he was not God (see Alma 18:17-19). However, in spite of his knowledge of God - and perhaps because of it - Ammon did not take advantage of the situation to brag about how much smarter he was than King Lamoni. Doing so probably would have gotten him killed. Instead, Ammon took the time to understand King Lamoni's beliefs and to patiently teach him the truth. Ammon invited the Spirit by testifying of common truths. Having the Spirit with you will make it easier to share the truth. Ammon's reputation for being honest in his dealings with those around him spared his life on future occasions as well, as King Lamoni would stand up for him to his own father (see Alma 20).

Developing a reputation of honesty can provide you great blessings. Joseph Smith taught, "You cannot be too good." Do what is right, no matter how difficult it may seem. James E. Faustexplained, "Honesty is more than not lying. It is truth telling, truth speaking, truth living, and truth loving." I remember a story I was told as a child about a student who had brought two water guns to class. When asked by his teacher if he had a water gun, he said, "no." This was technically true, as he actually had two water guns. However, it was not honest.

Being known as a generally honest person saved me in a professional situation. I had been accused of saying certain things and of knowing of certain events of which I actually knew nothing. More intimidating yet, these accusations were brought forth in court (which I attended almost weekly, as part of my job duties). Fortunately, I was known by my employer to be an honest individual. Since I was stating I had no knowledge of the accusations, my boss stood by me. While it took more time for the court to realize this, I know that I was spared a worse fate because of my reputation for being honest.

You too can benefit from being honest. If you are currently known for telling lies, even "little white lies," stop now. It will take time to restore your reputation. There will probably be times when you wonder if the change is worth the effort - especially when there will be those around you who still do not believe you. However, I promise it will be worth it as you continue to be honest with those around you.

Goals for this week:

• Be honest in your dealings.
  
• If someone is speaking poorly about you, find something good in their character. Let that good thing be what you choose to say about them.

Agency: Part Two - Aligning Our Will With God's

No man can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will hold to the one and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and Mammon.

- 3 Nephi 13:24

When Christ appeared in the Americas, He had to teach an important aspect of agency to both the Nephites and the Lamanites. The lesson was just as important when he taught it to the Jews. Inasmuch as we have been given moral agency, we are free to choose who we will serve: God or Mammon (or rather, Satan).

Sometimes we are prone to looking at agency as choosing whether to give up our agency to follow God or keeping our agency and doing what we want. What Jesus wanted us to learn is that we can use our agency to follow God, or we can use our agency to follow Satan. Our agency is not the right to choose an unlisted third option - it is to choose God or Satan.

As the prophet Alma taught, "And now if ye are not the sheep of the good shepherd, of what fold are ye? Behold, I say unto you, that the devil is your shepherd, and ye are of his fold; and now, who can deny this? Behold, I say unto you, whosoever denieth this is a liar and a child of the devil" (Alma 5:39). In simpler terms, if we try to persuade ourselves that choosing to not follow God's commandments is following our own path and not Satan's, we our lying to ourselves and are already under Satan's command. Satan's purpose is clearly stated: "to destroy the agency of man" (Moses 4:3).

As discussed in part one, when we follow God, we do not give up our agency. Rather, we receive additional freedoms. For example, as we follow President Gordon B. Hinckley's counsel to "be smart" by getting a good education, our ability to find a job and increase our income grows. This opens us up to countless more opportunities. However, if we follow Satan's counsel to just do whatever feels good at the time, we are less likely obtain a decent education because we will be less likely to persevere when challenges arise. We may even give up before graduating from high school. This will result in fewer opportunities.

Using our agency to choose to follow God will bring us great joy. However, in choosing right from wrong, should we look to the spirit of the law or the letter of the law? For example, the letter of the law says to not kill (see Exodus 20:13). The spirit of the law, as taught by Christ, is to not even be angry with one another (see Matthew 5:21-22). Jesus would not want us to cause any harm, which would include not hitting our siblings!

Christ, through His teachings and example, has drawn the line for our obedience to God's commandments. We should not be living in such a way so as to find out how close we can get to the line without going over. Boyd K. Packer said, "it is a mistake to assume that anything not specifically prohibited in the 'letter of the law' is somehow approved of the Lord. All the Lord approves is not detailed in the scriptures, neither is all that is forbidden. The Word of Wisdom, for instance, makes no specific warning against taking arsenic. Surely we don’t need a revelation to tell us that!"

God has told us "it is not meet that I should command in all things." Rather, we should be "anxiously engaged in a good cause" (D&C 58:26-27). We must determine for ourselves how closely we will keep God's commandments. In so doing, we should strive to follow the spirit of the law, not just the letter of the law.

As an example, I would like to share a story that is often attributed to Winston Churchill, though it is not for certain who first shared the story. Winston Churchill was speaking with a woman when he asked, "Madam, would you sleep with me for five million pounds?" The woman took some time to think about the proposition and finally agreed to it. Mr. Churchill then asked, "Would you sleep with me for five pounds?" The woman was irate and shouted, "What kind of woman do you think I am?!" Winston Churchill's clever reply was, "Madam, we've already established what kind of woman you are. Now we simply haggling over the price."

Elder Richard G. Scott taught, "Decide what you will do and will not do. When temptation comes, do not change your standards. Do not abandon them when circumstances seem to justify an exception. That is Satan’s way to hurt you by making it seem that sometimes God’s law does not apply. There are no exceptions."

If we have not made up our minds before hand, then Satan will be trying to find out what our price is. He is cunning and will find your weakness and exploit it. Make decisions right now about proper conduct. If you decide now how you will act in tempting situations, you will be more likely to act righteously when a real situation arises.

Sometimes the price Satan will use is our friends. It may be our friends asking us to watch an R-rated movie. We must determine if our friends are helping us in the right direction. If not, we may need to abandon them. While such a decision will surely be difficult, do not worry about it too much - the Lord will compensate you for your sacrifice.

One Sunday, my father taught my priests quorum a valuable lesson regarding who we follow. He asked one of my classmates to point to where he believed north was. It is important to understand that the building where I attended church as a youth was on a street that, for the most part, went east to west. However, where our church was constructed, the road angled slightly. Also, our building was situated on an angle. This resulted in some confusion about which way was north when we sat in the building.

My father then asked who trusted this one youth's opinion. A few did, but most did not. However, there was no consensus to which way true north pointed. My father then asked if it would help to have a compass. We all agreed it was the best solution.

In life, we have been provided a compass. The Savior is our compass. Our friends may try to lead us in many different directions. Before we act, however, we must first figure out who has the compass. We will always be guided in the right direction as we read our scriptures, heed the words of our prophets, and pray for guidance.

There will be some who may say you can do things your own way instead of God's. What they are really saying is that there is no harm in a little sin. Their teachings are nothing new. Nephi warned us there would be people who would say, God "will justify in committing a little sin; yea, lie a little, take the advantage of one because of his words, dig a pit for thy neighbor; there is no harm in this" (2 Nephi 28:8).

Jesus taught that the entrance to Heaven is like entering through the head of a needle (seeMatthew 19:24). The head of a needle is very small. Even a slight deviation will put you far off course in the end (see Elder L. Tom Perry).

I have heard a saying many times from members of the Church: "I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it." While this is attributed often to Christ, it appears no place in the scriptures. What does Christ say? "My yoke is easy, and my burden is light" (Matthew 11:30). In fact, "the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them" (1 Nephi 3:7)

Usually when we view life as difficult, it is generally because life is not turning out the way we had planned for it to go. I have found that, if we focus on what God wants for us and make that our goal, life is infinitely easier. We can see a great example of this from the life of Joseph Smith.

In D&C 121, Joseph Smith has been imprisoned in jail in Liberty, Missouri for many months. He is understandably frustrated about the situation. In verse 1, he states, "O God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place?" In other words, Joseph wants to know why the Lord is not bailing him out. However, God, in His infinite wisdom explained, "My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment" (D&C 121:7).

Joseph's difficulty in coping with his situation arose from it not going according to his plan, rather than God's plan. Fortunately, we can see that Joseph Smith learned his lesson. In going to Carthage, to his death, he said, "I am going like a lamb to the slaughter; but I am calm as a summer’s morning" (D&C 135:4). He knew God's will for him and he made that his own will. When we make God's will our will, we will find peace in our trials.

You may feel that, upon keeping God's commandments, you should always be blessed with no hardships. But that would not help you become what God knows you have the potential to be.Elder D. Todd Christofferson explained, "The Lord’s promise is not to spare us the conflict but to preserve and console us in our afflictions and to consecrate them for our gain" (see 2 Nephi 2:2;4:19-26; Jacob 3:1).

We must be obedient, regardless of the difficulties we face. Elder David A. Bednar related the following story:

Sister Bednar and I are acquainted with a returned missionary who had dated a special young woman for a period of time. He cared for her very much, and he was desirous of making his relationship with her more serious. He was considering and hoping for engagement and marriage. This relationship was developing during the time that President Hinckley counseled the Relief Society sisters and young women of the Church to wear only one earring in each ear.

The young man waited patiently over a period of time for the young woman to remove her extra earrings, but she did not take them out. This was a valuable piece of information for this young man, and he felt unsettled about her nonresponsiveness to a prophet’s pleading. For this and other reasons, he ultimately stopped dating the young woman, because he was looking for an eternal companion who had the courage to promptly and quietly obey the counsel of the prophet in all things and at all times.

You may think, what a minor issue to break up with someone over - just two earrings. However, the young man might say the same thing to the young woman - would you skip out on exaltation, just for two earrings? In reality, the issue has very little to do with earrings, and more to do with heeding the prophets. If we cannot follow God in small and simple things, how do we expect to handle more significant teachings?

Remember the example of the compass earlier. Even a slight deviation from the correct path can lead us far away in the end. We must align ourselves with God's will.

How do we do this? President George Q. Cannon taught the key. He suggests the mentality we should have as we attend our meetings: "I should enter that assembly with my mind entirely free from all influence that would prevent the operation of the Spirit of God upon me. I should go in a prayerful spirit, asking God to write upon my heart His will; not with my own will already prepared, and determined to carry out my will..., regardless of everyone else’s views. If I were to go, and all the rest were to go, with this spirit, then the Spirit of God would be felt in our midst, and that which we would decide upon would be the mind and will of God, because God would reveal it to us. We would see light in the direction where we should go, and we would behold darkness in the direction we should not go" (as quoted by Elder Henry B. Eyring).

We must be humble in order to learn God's will for us. It may take a great deal work on our part to align yourself with the Lord's will. "For how knoweth a man the master whom he has not served, and who is a stranger unto him, and is far from the thoughts and intents of his heart?" (Mosiah 5:13).

I believe it is difficult for us to obey someone we do not know. For example, if you were jaywalking and a random stranger told you not to, it probably would not mean much to you. However, if that stranger were to pull out a badge and show he was a police officer, you might pay more attention.

Likewise, I believe that if you knew you were a child of God - really knew - then you would be more likely to obey his commandments, as they help bring you closer to Him. However, your obedience would not be out of fear (as it might be with the police officer), but out of love.

In order to learn for yourself of your Heavenly Father's love for you, I would like to challenge you to pray. As you pray, ask God the following four things:

1) "Are you there?" Sometimes when you pray you may feel like you are going through the motions and no one is really listening. Asking God if he is there, and receiving an answer helps you know that God cares about you enough that he is ready to take time to listen to you.

2) "Is Jesus Christ your son?" Receiving an answer to this question establishes that God loves us enough to send His Son to die for our sins. It also establishes that Christ did live and showed us example of how we should live.

3) "Do you know my name?" You are not just a number. Billions are living, have lived, and will live, but God knows you individually.

4) "Do you love me?" It is easy to feel alone when you are not getting along with parents or friend, or especially when you have sinned. Nevertheless, God loves you anyway. He knows your name, He sent His son to die for you, and he is listening to your prayers. God loves you.

I promise you that, if you will pray to God and ask him these four questions, He will answer you will a feeling of peace, comfort, and joy. I first heard about this from a friend who reportedly learned it from a professor at Brigham Young University.

When you know that you are a child of your Heavenly Father, and that He loves you, you will have a desire to change for the better.

It is easy to say, "I can change whenever I want to" Well, if you can change then do it now. Do not wait! The prophet Elijah challenged us, "If the Lord be God, follow him" (1 Kings 18:21). Do not be wishy-washy. God has given you agency. You will find infinitely more freedom by following His commandments than by following Satan’s commandments.

President Ezra Taft Benson explained it best when he said, "When obedience ceases to be an irritant and becomes our quest, in that moment God will endow us with power" (as quoted byElder Donald L. Staheli).

As you pray to your Heavenly Father and seek His will, you will find greater power and more joy than you know now.

Goals for this week:

• Pray to know God's will in major, and even minor, life decisions. Have the strength to follow the Spirit's guidance, making the Lord's will your own.
• Live worthily to receive your Patriarchal Blessing. It will be a guide to you in understanding God's will for you and a help in planning your future.

Agency: Part One - Taking Responsibility

[Men] are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself.

- 2 Nephi 2:27

Prior to his death, Lehi had warned Laman and Lemuel, "if ye will hearken unto the voice of Nephi [the prophet] ye shall not perish."(2 Nephi 1:28). Jacob, undoubtedly, was familiar with the rebelliousness of his elder brothers and knew they had chosen a path that would lead to sorrow and, ultimately, their destruction. While he knew he could not undo the past, Jacob did feel a responsibility to ensure the Nephites did not follow the same path. Nevertheless, he did not take away their right to choose evil, leaving only the good. Instead, he simply informed them of the results either choice would bring.

The Lord will not prevent you from doing whatever you want. As Jacob taught, "Therefore, cheer up your hearts, and remember that ye are free to act for yourselves - to choose the way of everlasting death or the way of eternal life" (2 Nephi 10:23).

My seventh grade math teacher, Mrs. Furby, explained that there are only two things in life that you have to do: die and pay taxes – and even the second one you can get out of, if you're clever enough (though I do not recommend trying it).

If that is true and - since God has given us agency - I believe it is, then you don't have to pay attention to anything I'm writing. You may be surprised to hear me tell you this, but you don't have to go to church, attend firesides or youth conferences, fulfill your callings, or even keep any of the commandments.

I made this a subject of a fireside once and not one of the youth believed me. What was most impressive to me was that some of the more defiant ones in the group were the most emphatic that they did not have a choice in regards to those things.

While some of the youth genuinely wanted to be there, some of them admitted they were only there because their parents made them come. One in particular stated she did not have a choice in whether or not to come. I said, "your parents did not make you come, you chose to." She replied, "oh yes they did. They told me I couldn't go out Friday night if I didn't come today."

In saying that, she made my point. She did not have to come. She came because the consequence of not coming was more than she wanted to deal with. Every choice in life comes with a consequence. When the choice is right, the consequence is generally positive. When the choice is wrong, the consequence is generally negative.

I want to emphasize the point that no one can make you do anything.

Assuming that the youngest person reading this is at least 12 years old, within 6 years you will be an adult. In other words, your parents will no longer be able to tell you what to do. Sure, they will be able to tell you a number of things they would like you to do - but you never have to do any of them. This is not true only once you reach adulthood. Even now, you make your own choices.

Elder Dallin H. Oaks observed, "We are responsible to use our agency in a world of choices. It will not do to pretend that our agency has been taken away when we are not free to exercise it without unwelcome consequences."

The fact is, your parents cannot control you. God gave you your agency - he did not give it to your parents to hold onto until you turn 18. Therefore, stop blaming your parents for making you do things. You are responsible for your own actions. The only thing you do not have control over is the consequences of your actions. Nevertheless, you still do not have to do anything. It is all up to you.

In regards to eating the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, God told Adam (and the same applies to us), "thou mayest choose for thyself" (Moses 3:17). Yes, God told him he shouldn't. And yes, there were consequences, but Adam was free to choose (just as you are today).

So, guess what? If you want to go out and kill someone, you can! How do you feel about that? While you can't give me a verbal response, I would assume your reaction is similar to that of the youth at my fireside. After getting over their initial shock (and closing their gaping mouths), they told me "That's illegal!" "You'd go to jail!" "It's against the commandments!" "You'd be damned!" "You'd go to hell!"

Yes, all of the above certainly apply (see D&C 42:18). Nevertheless, God probably is not going to stop you. You still have your agency - even though the consequences are certainly not worth acting on such an impulse.

I hope you do not get the impression that I am encouraging you to go out and commit murders. I am not. I merely wish to illustrate a point that God has given you agency. Not free agency (AsElder Boyd K. Packer notes, the term "free agency" never appears in scripture). Rather, He has given you moral agency. The Lord has explained, "according to the moral agency which I have given unto him,... every man may be accountable for his own sins in the day of judgment" (D&C 101:78; italics added). You cannot blame your parents - or anyone else - for your actions. They are yours and yours alone. That is one of the key elements of God's plan: "We believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam’s transgression" (Articles of Faith 1:2)

Elder D. Todd Christofferson further explained, "When we use the term moral agency, we are appropriately emphasizing the accountability that is an essential part of the divine gift of agency. We are moral beings and agents unto ourselves, free to choose but also responsible for our choices."

With agency comes accountability. Yes, there are consequences, but never allow that to make you believe you cannot do something. For example, I told you earlier you do not have to do anything your parents tell you to do. So, what would happen if you chose not to obey them?

First, you would be breaking a commandment (see Exodus 20:12). So, you may have some eternal consequences for not disobedience. However, in terms of more current consequences, you may be grounded, miss out on dinner, receive extra chores, or in the severest of circumstances, be kicked out.

With moral agency, God allows you to choose for yourself. You can obey and receive additional freedom, or you can disobey and suffer. Satan would try to persuade you that you need to sin, to live rebelliously, in order to prove you are free. However, just because you can do something, doesn't mean it is a good idea. For example, I have the agency to nail my foot to the floor - that doesn't make it a good idea.

Following God's commandments will lead you to receive an increase of freedom. On the other hand, Satan's attempts to get you to exercise your freedom will only lead to captivity. The amazing thing about Satan though, is he will still have you convinced that you are free, even when he has you in his shackles. As ridiculous as it sounds, so many still fall for Satan's rhetoric. As Nephi taught, "[Satan] leadeth them by the neck with a flaxen cord, until he bindeth them with his strong cords forever" (2 Nephi 26:22).

Does the idea of gaining freedom through submission to God's commandments seem strange to you? Elder D. Todd Christofferson described this concept in more clarity: "To the secular world it seems a paradox that greater submission to God yields greater freedom. The world looks at things through Korihor’s lens, considering obedience to God’s laws and ordinances to be "bondage" (Alma 30:24, 27). So how do obedience and truth make us free? We can easily think of some practical ways in which truth gives us the ability to do things we otherwise could not do or to avoid disasters we might otherwise suffer."

While in college, I worked for a few years in a factory building treadmills. Everyone knew I was LDS, by the example I set. There was a prison nearby, which allowed prisoners, who had been on good behavior, to work in the community. Our factory was one who hired non-violent criminals. I struck up a acquaintanceship with one of these men. I found it interesting that, even though he was locked behind bars for a majority of his day and had only been let out because he was following the rules, he still accused me of not having any freedom.

Try as I might to explain that I still had the freedom to do things, but that I chose not to, he remained convinced that he, who was in prison, had more freedom than me. Such is the skill of Satan at blinding those in his grasp (see 3 Nephi 2:2).

Perhaps one of the issues you will deal with the most in high school is the decision whether to have pre-marital sex. Girls are probably more pressured to give in to such temptation than boys. Their boyfriends are more likely than a boy's girlfriend to say, "I love you. You need to have sex with me to prove you love me too."

Perhaps from your vantage point, that sort of argument makes sense. After all, love is shown this way in the movies and in romance novels: love equals sex and sex equals love. Nevertheless, this is one of Satan's greatest lies. Ask your parents, ask church leaders, ask nearly anyone. Relationships built on sex do not last. Sex is not meaningful enough to make a relationship last.

The odds are more likely that, after having sex, you will eventually break up. This will inevitably lead to sorrow and heartache. It can also lead to sexually transmitted diseases. It can also lead to pregnancy and working a low-income job to provide for your new family - thus missing out on opportunities for higher education and better paying jobs.

The argument that you should have sex before marriage, just because you're in love, is a lie. Truly loving, lasting relationship are built on a genuine caring for one another. God's freedom encourages you to date many people, to find out what personalities best meet your personality. God's freedom encourages you to get to know one another, without the pressure to have sex (seeFor the Strength of Youth).

By following God's commandments, you gain the freedom to truly choose your future companion, instead of being stuck in a relationship for the sake of a child you've created together. You will have the opportunity for a relationship that can truly last in to eternity.

If a boyfriend or girlfriend is pressuring you to have sex: Stop. Think. Someone who loves you will never ask you to break a commandment. If you are truly in love, then you can wait to have sex. After all, if you are truly in love, you will be together for years and years to come. Why not wait until you get married and have a job, or at least a diploma? If you are in love, why not wait until you can handle the consequences?

God's freedom will give you time to make wise decisions that will produce more freedom in the future. Satan's counterfeit freedom will bind you down from the moment you begin to follow his counsel.

I've taken a lot of time to contrast the freedoms that God offers you for following Him against the freedoms Satan offers you in regards to pre-marital sex. Allow me to take a moment to examine other circumstances you may be faced with:

Smoking:

• God's freedom tells you to not smoke. In return you are blessed with good health.
• Satan's freedom tells you to light it up. In return you are blessed with a higher risk of cancer, difficulty breathing, and bad smelling clothes.

Illegal Drugs:

• God's freedom tells you not to use any illegal substance. In return you are blessed with a clear mind in making your decisions.
• Satan's freedom tells you to use it until there is nothing left. In return you have lousy decision making skills, poor physical health, you are more likely to end up in jail, and more likely to live in poverty (as noted by the National Criminal Justice Reference Service).

Marriage

• God's freedom will prepare you for a temple marriage. In return you are blessed with the opportunity to be with your spouse and posterity for this life and throughout all eternity.
• Satan's freedom will encourage you to not live worthily of a temple marriage. In return you may marry someone you love, but it will end at death. It will not last forever.

You will miss out on many opportunities by giving in to Satan's "freedoms." Look at any difficult decision you are currently facing. Will following Satan's guidance leave you happy in the long run? Never!

As Elder M. Russell Ballard pointed out, "with all my heart I hope and pray that you will be wise enough to learn the lessons of the past. You don’t have to spend time as a Laman or a Lemuel in order to know that it’s much better to be a Nephi or a Jacob."

Elder D. Todd Christofferson taught: "Freedom of choice is the freedom to obey or disobey existing laws - not the freedom to alter their consequences." Satan will try to have to overlook the consequences of your actions and blame someone else for your problems. The hard truth is, you control your destiny. No one else makes choices for you, but yourself.

This week's entry has focused on realizing we choose our own actions. No one else has been given that responsibility but ourselves. As we choose to follow God, we will find additional freedom. As we follow Satan, we will find ourselves losing freedoms - even though he may mask our ability to recognize it. Next week's entry will focus on helping you determine how to make the best choices for your life - by aligning our will with God's.

Goals for this week:

• Examine your actions. Why do you do what you do. Is what you do determined by your friends, your family, or by you? Determine to choose the right - not because anyone is making you do it, but because you want to. Only you are responsible for your actions.
• Pray to your Heavenly Father for the strength to do what He would want you to do - even if it is not what those around you want you to do.

God Loves You

And it came to pass that Amalickiah commanded that his armies should march forth and see what had happened to the king; and when they had come to the spot, and found the king lying in his gore, Amalickiah pretended to be wroth, and said: Whosoever loved the king, let him go forth, and pursue his servants that they may be slain.

- Alma 47:27

The Lamanites had a warped view of what love meant. As noted in the above scripture, Amalickiah used this warped definition of love to inspire hatred and murder in order to cover his own sins.

Although the basis of Christianity is love, the definition of Christian love has been warped many times throughout history. The Crusades (meant to spread Christianity) were a series of religiously-sanctioned military campaigns waged by much of Latin Christian Europe over a period of nearly 200 years, between 1095 and 1291. With some Christians acting in a spirit of hatred, while attempting to declare a message of love, is it any wonder that other world religions choose to avoid Christianity? Bear in mind that such a misunderstanding of love is not limited to the Lamanites or medieval Europe. Mankind has always struggled with the concept of "the pure love of Christ" (Moroni 7:47). You can see such poor examples in some of our political leaders, the hallways of your school, even - sadly - in our church meetings.

However, regardless of any meanspiritedness in those around you, the message of God is that He loves you. You may have been hurt by those around you. Sometimes even by loved ones. However, you should never doubt that God loves you. Everything He does it driven by love.

Now, you may counter, the scriptures are full of instances in which God is referred to as an angry God. However, the prophet Lehi clarified this idea, as he spoke with his sons, Laman and Lemuel, after they had received chastisement from their brother, Nephi:

"And ye have murmured because he hath been plain unto you. Ye say that he hath used sharpness; ye say that he hath been angry with you; but behold, his sharpness was the sharpness of the power of the word of God, which was in him; and that which ye call anger was the truth, according to that which is in God, which he could not restrain, manifesting boldly concerning your iniquities" (2 Nephi 1:26).

In reality, God is sad, not mad, when you don't do what he says. God has clearly stated, "For behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man" (Moses 1:39). God has also taught that the salvation of souls brings great joy (see D&C 18: 15-16). If saving us brings God joy, then the opposite of that - losing us - causes Him sorrow, not anger - even if we take it to be anger.

Essentially, when God speaks in a straight-forward manner, it is for our salvation. The righteous see it this way (which is how the message is generally intended). However, "the guilty taketh the truth to be hard, for it cutteth them to the very center" (1 Nephi 16:2). Instead of seeking to thank God for His guidance, the wicked "kick against the pricks" (D&C 121:38; see also Acts 26:14)

God gave us commandments to enable us to return to him. For example, if you want to put together a pre-fabricated piece of furniture from the store, you follow the directions. There is only one specific way to build that chair. If we want the chair, we should follow the directions. If we don't really want the chair, then we don't have to follow the directions. Likewise, if we want to be saved, there is a set of directions to do just that (which God calls "commandments"). We don't have to follow the directions - God never has and never will force someone to keep the commandments. Thus, if we want to receive exaltation, we have to follow the directions. If we don't really care what we get, then it doesn't really matter what we do. However, I can assure you that there will be sorrow on your part if you don't choose to keep the commandments - not because God will punish you, but because you will realize (in the afterlife) what you missed out on by not following the directions.

I once read the blog of a woman who insisted that a god who loved us would not hold us responsible for keeping all the commandments. While that is partly true (thanks to Christ's atonement), we still have to follow the directions to repent (i.e. - change our behavior).

The Lord is anxious to bless his children. He is merely waiting for you to step forward and ask for the blessing. How do we ask? By keeping his commandments. As an example, review the law of tithing. God has given us everything. As a test, He asks that we return ten percent to Him. In return, He offers us even more. As the Lord says, "Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it." (Malachi 3:10). When we give a little to the Lord, He pours out blessings on us, so much so that there is not "room enough to receive it." The Lords wants to bless you. So let Him. Keep His commandments and you will be blessed.

Everything God does is out of love. Excommunication even is a loving act (as the person is released from the covenants they made, making them less accountable). And, the atonement allows them to return to their former, spiritual self. Elder M. Russell Ballard describes such disciplinary actions as a chance to start over. He illustrates the concept in the following story:

When members need to have certain blessings withheld, the Lord's object is to teach as well as to discipline. So probation, disfellowshipment, and excommunication, when they become necessary, are ideally accompanied by eventual reinstatement and restoration of blessings.

I remember as a child occasionally coming unkempt to the dinner table. My mother wisely sent me to clean up and then return. My parents would have been pained if I had taken offense and had run off—and I would have been foolish to do so. In the same way, the servants of the Lord occasionally find that they must, in loving concern, send some of Heavenly Father’s children out the door so they can return clean once again. The Lord does not want us to "miss supper." In fact, he has a great feast prepared for those who return clean and pure through the door. He is greatly saddened when anyone decides they prefer to be unclean and miss the meal, or when they find an excuse to take offense, or when they run away. He is pleased to extend the chance to start over.

I've known a few rebellious people who disregard the commandments and are influenced by the evil one or by other rebellious people to transgress God’s laws. I've seen their distress and pain. I've also seen their joy when, humbled and fully repentant, they have returned to the Church and have had all their blessings restored.

Even death is a loving act. We may not understand the reasons for untimely deaths, but God is still there for us, providing his love. Nephi taught, "the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance" (1 Nephi 1:20). You are among those who the Lord "hath chosen." No matter what trials you may face, the Lord will always be there to support you, through his tender mercies, even in ways you may not expect (for additional insight regarding this concept, see David A. Bednar, "The Tender Mercies of the Lord").

Just as we misinterpret God's "anger," it is also worth noting that God is not a "jealous" God (seeExodus 34:14) - at least not in the sense that we usually think of the term, "jealous." God is simply trying to get you to follow his path to salvation rather than the path offered by Satan's false gods. His path is the only path to salvation. It would cause Him great sorrow to see His children fall away (see, for example, Luke 18:24). Hence, God is described as "jealous" in that He would have as many of us follow Him as are willing to do so.

Our Heavenly Father knows our divine potential better than we ourselves know it. All of his actions are geared toward helping ourselves realize our potential. As Lehi told his sons, just before his death, "I have none other object save it be the everlasting welfare of your souls" (2 Nephi 2:30). Since our Heavenly Father is perfect (see Matthew 5:48), imagine how much more he desires the everlasting welfare of our souls.

Search the scriptures, Examine any act of God and you will find that His actions were done in the best interest of His children - even though we may not recognize it at first. Sometimes the event is too recent and hits to close to home for us to be able to look at it objectively and see what God meant for us to learn from it. Nevertheless, if we will turn to God, we will eventually learn how the experience was meant to bring us closer to Him.

The crowning evidence of our Heavenly Father's love for us, was shown through the atonement of Jesus Christ. "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life" (John 3:16). God loves us all - otherwise He would not have allowed Christ to suffer as he did.

John 3:16 is one of the best scriptures for utilizing Nephi's suggestion to "liken all scriptures" unto ourselves (see 1 Nephi 19:23). Note the different tone the scripture takes when we read it this way: "For God so loved me, that he gave his only begotten Son, that if I believeth in him Ishould not perish, but have everlasting life." This is a powerful verse. Jesus is not simply speaking of saving humankind as a whole, he is speaking of saving each of us individually.

While God is a just God, He is not seeking out every opportunity He can to find our flaws and condemn us for them. On the contrary, Joseph Smith noted, "While one portion of the human race is judging and condemning the other without mercy, the Great Parent of the universe looks upon the whole of the human family with a fatherly care and paternal regard; He views them as His offspring, and without any of those contracted feelings that influence the children of men."

As evidence, examine the story of the sons of Mosiah. Ammon clearly explains that, in their rebellious days, "Behold, we went forth even in wrath, with mighty threatenings to destroy [God's] church" (Alma 26:18). I cannot say for sure how you might react if someone was going around destroying what you owned, but I would be rather upset. I would want revenge in some way. For this reason, perhaps, did Ammon say, "Oh then, why did he not consign us to an awful destruction, yea, why did he not let the sword of his justice fall upon us, and doom us to eternal despair? Oh, my soul, almost as it were, fleeth at the thought. (Alma 26:19-20). Alas, God does not act in a rash manner, as man does. As Ammon explains, "Behold, he did not exercise his justice upon us, but in his great mercy hath brought us over that everlasting gulf of death and misery, even to the salvation of our souls" (Alma 26:20). God knows us better than we know ourselves. He knows of our divine potential. With this knowledge, He acts in such a way as to bring about "the salvation of our souls." Not just the souls of people in the scriptures, but yours as well.

Yet, Sometimes, we still may feel that our sins cannot be forgiven. For those who feel this way, Elder Richard G. Scott taught,

Now if you are one who cannot forgive yourself for serious past transgressions - even when a judge in Israel has assured that you have properly repented - if you feel compelled to continually condemn yourself and suffer by frequently recalling the details of past errors, I plead with all of my soul that you ponder this statement of the Savior:

"He who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more.

"By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins - ... he will confess them and forsake them" (D&C 58: 42-43).

To continue to suffer when there has been proper repentance is not prompted by the Savior but the master of deceit, whose goal is to bind and enslave you. Satan will press you to continue to relive the details of past mistakes, knowing that such thoughts make forgiveness seem unattainable. In this way Satan attempts to tie strings to the mind and body so that he can manipulate you like a puppet.

God loves us. If we feel otherwise, those feelings are not coming from God. "For if ye would hearken unto the Spirit which teacheth a man to pray ye would know that ye must pray; for the evil spirit teacheth not a man to pray, but teacheth him that he must not pray" (2 Nephi 32:8). Just as Satan will teach us not to pray, in order to drive us further from our Heavenly Father, he will likewise teach us that God is a harsh God, incapable of showing mercy and love. This, of course, is a lie. God is unchanged over time (see 1 Nephi 10:18). In John 13:34, Jesus taught, "A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another." However, this was not a new commandment (although it may have been forgotten over time). As early as the days of Moses, God was instructing us, "thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself" (Leviticus 19:18) and not only our neighbour, "but the stranger that dwelleth with you... thou shalt love him as thyself" (Leviticus 19:34). God has always taught the principle of love - do not ever let Satan lead you to believe otherwise.

Joseph Smith explained, "God does not look on sin with allowance, but when men have sinned, there must be allowance made for them.... The nearer we get to our heavenly Father, the more we are disposed to look with compassion on perishing souls; we feel that we want to take them upon our shoulders, and cast their sins behind our backs."

When we have the Spirit of God within us, we feel a greater desire to forgive others. I have experienced this feeling a number of times in my life. While I could easily have taken offense in these situations, I have felt a desire to let it go. Anger, hate, and other worthless feelings go away as we have the Spirit with us. So why would we assume God, from whom those feelings come, would not also be prone to forgive us? He is perfect in His love. Thus, He will forgive all who wish to take advantage of the offered atonement.

You will find greater joy in living the commandments of your loving Heavenly Father than you ever will by heeding the deceptions of Satan. Satan may try to persuade you that you cannot be loved because of whatever sins you may have committed. However, God will always welcome you with open arms when you turn to Him.

Goals for this week:

• If there is some sin in your life that you've attempted to repent of, forgive yourself - God already has. If there is a sin you have yet to repent of, do so now, knowing that God is full of forgiveness.
  
• Read your scriptures daily. Pray often. You may currently feel that God does not love you. The best way to resolve this concern is to learn more of Him. As you do, you will learn of His infinite capacity to love.