[Men] are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself.
Prior to his death, Lehi had warned Laman and Lemuel, "if ye will hearken unto the voice of Nephi [the prophet] ye shall not perish."(2 Nephi 1:28). Jacob, undoubtedly, was familiar with the rebelliousness of his elder brothers and knew they had chosen a path that would lead to sorrow and, ultimately, their destruction. While he knew he could not undo the past, Jacob did feel a responsibility to ensure the Nephites did not follow the same path. Nevertheless, he did not take away their right to choose evil, leaving only the good. Instead, he simply informed them of the results either choice would bring.
The Lord will not prevent you from doing whatever you want. As Jacob taught, "Therefore, cheer up your hearts, and remember that ye are free to act for yourselves - to choose the way of everlasting death or the way of eternal life" (2 Nephi 10:23).
My seventh grade math teacher, Mrs. Furby, explained that there are only two things in life that you have to do: die and pay taxes – and even the second one you can get out of, if you're clever enough (though I do not recommend trying it).
If that is true and - since God has given us agency - I believe it is, then you don't have to pay attention to anything I'm writing. You may be surprised to hear me tell you this, but you don't have to go to church, attend firesides or youth conferences, fulfill your callings, or even keep any of the commandments.
I made this a subject of a fireside once and not one of the youth believed me. What was most impressive to me was that some of the more defiant ones in the group were the most emphatic that they did not have a choice in regards to those things.
While some of the youth genuinely wanted to be there, some of them admitted they were only there because their parents made them come. One in particular stated she did not have a choice in whether or not to come. I said, "your parents did not make you come, you chose to." She replied, "oh yes they did. They told me I couldn't go out Friday night if I didn't come today."
In saying that, she made my point. She did not have to come. She came because the consequence of not coming was more than she wanted to deal with. Every choice in life comes with a consequence. When the choice is right, the consequence is generally positive. When the choice is wrong, the consequence is generally negative.
I want to emphasize the point that no one can make you do anything.
Assuming that the youngest person reading this is at least 12 years old, within 6 years you will be an adult. In other words, your parents will no longer be able to tell you what to do. Sure, they will be able to tell you a number of things they would like you to do - but you never have to do any of them. This is not true only once you reach adulthood. Even now, you make your own choices.
Elder Dallin H. Oaks observed, "We are responsible to use our agency in a world of choices. It will not do to pretend that our agency has been taken away when we are not free to exercise it without unwelcome consequences."
The fact is, your parents cannot control you. God gave you your agency - he did not give it to your parents to hold onto until you turn 18. Therefore, stop blaming your parents for making you do things. You are responsible for your own actions. The only thing you do not have control over is the consequences of your actions. Nevertheless, you still do not have to do anything. It is all up to you.
In regards to eating the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, God told Adam (and the same applies to us), "thou mayest choose for thyself" (Moses 3:17). Yes, God told him he shouldn't. And yes, there were consequences, but Adam was free to choose (just as you are today).
So, guess what? If you want to go out and kill someone, you can! How do you feel about that? While you can't give me a verbal response, I would assume your reaction is similar to that of the youth at my fireside. After getting over their initial shock (and closing their gaping mouths), they told me "That's illegal!" "You'd go to jail!" "It's against the commandments!" "You'd be damned!" "You'd go to hell!"
Yes, all of the above certainly apply (see D&C 42:18). Nevertheless, God probably is not going to stop you. You still have your agency - even though the consequences are certainly not worth acting on such an impulse.
I hope you do not get the impression that I am encouraging you to go out and commit murders. I am not. I merely wish to illustrate a point that God has given you agency. Not free agency (AsElder Boyd K. Packer notes, the term "free agency" never appears in scripture). Rather, He has given you moral agency. The Lord has explained, "according to the moral agency which I have given unto him,... every man may be accountable for his own sins in the day of judgment" (D&C 101:78; italics added). You cannot blame your parents - or anyone else - for your actions. They are yours and yours alone. That is one of the key elements of God's plan: "We believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam’s transgression" (Articles of Faith 1:2)
Elder D. Todd Christofferson further explained, "When we use the term moral agency, we are appropriately emphasizing the accountability that is an essential part of the divine gift of agency. We are moral beings and agents unto ourselves, free to choose but also responsible for our choices."
With agency comes accountability. Yes, there are consequences, but never allow that to make you believe you cannot do something. For example, I told you earlier you do not have to do anything your parents tell you to do. So, what would happen if you chose not to obey them?
First, you would be breaking a commandment (see Exodus 20:12). So, you may have some eternal consequences for not disobedience. However, in terms of more current consequences, you may be grounded, miss out on dinner, receive extra chores, or in the severest of circumstances, be kicked out.
With moral agency, God allows you to choose for yourself. You can obey and receive additional freedom, or you can disobey and suffer. Satan would try to persuade you that you need to sin, to live rebelliously, in order to prove you are free. However, just because you can do something, doesn't mean it is a good idea. For example, I have the agency to nail my foot to the floor - that doesn't make it a good idea.
Following God's commandments will lead you to receive an increase of freedom. On the other hand, Satan's attempts to get you to exercise your freedom will only lead to captivity. The amazing thing about Satan though, is he will still have you convinced that you are free, even when he has you in his shackles. As ridiculous as it sounds, so many still fall for Satan's rhetoric. As Nephi taught, "[Satan] leadeth them by the neck with a flaxen cord, until he bindeth them with his strong cords forever" (2 Nephi 26:22).
Does the idea of gaining freedom through submission to God's commandments seem strange to you? Elder D. Todd Christofferson described this concept in more clarity: "To the secular world it seems a paradox that greater submission to God yields greater freedom. The world looks at things through Korihor’s lens, considering obedience to God’s laws and ordinances to be "bondage" (Alma 30:24, 27). So how do obedience and truth make us free? We can easily think of some practical ways in which truth gives us the ability to do things we otherwise could not do or to avoid disasters we might otherwise suffer."
While in college, I worked for a few years in a factory building treadmills. Everyone knew I was LDS, by the example I set. There was a prison nearby, which allowed prisoners, who had been on good behavior, to work in the community. Our factory was one who hired non-violent criminals. I struck up a acquaintanceship with one of these men. I found it interesting that, even though he was locked behind bars for a majority of his day and had only been let out because he was following the rules, he still accused me of not having any freedom.
Try as I might to explain that I still had the freedom to do things, but that I chose not to, he remained convinced that he, who was in prison, had more freedom than me. Such is the skill of Satan at blinding those in his grasp (see 3 Nephi 2:2).
Perhaps one of the issues you will deal with the most in high school is the decision whether to have pre-marital sex. Girls are probably more pressured to give in to such temptation than boys. Their boyfriends are more likely than a boy's girlfriend to say, "I love you. You need to have sex with me to prove you love me too."
Perhaps from your vantage point, that sort of argument makes sense. After all, love is shown this way in the movies and in romance novels: love equals sex and sex equals love. Nevertheless, this is one of Satan's greatest lies. Ask your parents, ask church leaders, ask nearly anyone. Relationships built on sex do not last. Sex is not meaningful enough to make a relationship last.
The odds are more likely that, after having sex, you will eventually break up. This will inevitably lead to sorrow and heartache. It can also lead to sexually transmitted diseases. It can also lead to pregnancy and working a low-income job to provide for your new family - thus missing out on opportunities for higher education and better paying jobs.
The argument that you should have sex before marriage, just because you're in love, is a lie. Truly loving, lasting relationship are built on a genuine caring for one another. God's freedom encourages you to date many people, to find out what personalities best meet your personality. God's freedom encourages you to get to know one another, without the pressure to have sex (seeFor the Strength of Youth).
By following God's commandments, you gain the freedom to truly choose your future companion, instead of being stuck in a relationship for the sake of a child you've created together. You will have the opportunity for a relationship that can truly last in to eternity.
If a boyfriend or girlfriend is pressuring you to have sex: Stop. Think. Someone who loves you will never ask you to break a commandment. If you are truly in love, then you can wait to have sex. After all, if you are truly in love, you will be together for years and years to come. Why not wait until you get married and have a job, or at least a diploma? If you are in love, why not wait until you can handle the consequences?
God's freedom will give you time to make wise decisions that will produce more freedom in the future. Satan's counterfeit freedom will bind you down from the moment you begin to follow his counsel.
I've taken a lot of time to contrast the freedoms that God offers you for following Him against the freedoms Satan offers you in regards to pre-marital sex. Allow me to take a moment to examine other circumstances you may be faced with:
Smoking:
- God's freedom tells you to not smoke. In return you are blessed with good health.
- Satan's freedom tells you to light it up. In return you are blessed with a higher risk of cancer, difficulty breathing, and bad smelling clothes.
Illegal Drugs:
- God's freedom tells you not to use any illegal substance. In return you are blessed with a clear mind in making your decisions.
- Satan's freedom tells you to use it until there is nothing left. In return you have lousy decision making skills, poor physical health, you are more likely to end up in jail, and more likely to live in poverty (as noted by the National Criminal Justice Reference Service).
Marriage
- God's freedom will prepare you for a temple marriage. In return you are blessed with the opportunity to be with your spouse and posterity for this life and throughout all eternity.
- Satan's freedom will encourage you to not live worthily of a temple marriage. In return you may marry someone you love, but it will end at death. It will not last forever.
You will miss out on many opportunities by giving in to Satan's "freedoms." Look at any difficult decision you are currently facing. Will following Satan's guidance leave you happy in the long run? Never!
As Elder M. Russell Ballard pointed out, "with all my heart I hope and pray that you will be wise enough to learn the lessons of the past. You don’t have to spend time as a Laman or a Lemuel in order to know that it’s much better to be a Nephi or a Jacob."
Elder D. Todd Christofferson taught: "Freedom of choice is the freedom to obey or disobey existing laws - not the freedom to alter their consequences." Satan will try to have to overlook the consequences of your actions and blame someone else for your problems. The hard truth is, you control your destiny. No one else makes choices for you, but yourself.
This week's entry has focused on realizing we choose our own actions. No one else has been given that responsibility but ourselves. As we choose to follow God, we will find additional freedom. As we follow Satan, we will find ourselves losing freedoms - even though he may mask our ability to recognize it. Next week's entry will focus on helping you determine how to make the best choices for your life - by aligning our will with God's.
Goals for this week:
- Examine your actions. Why do you do what you do. Is what you do determined by your friends, your family, or by you? Determine to choose the right - not because anyone is making you do it, but because you want to. Only you are responsible for your actions.
- Pray to your Heavenly Father for the strength to do what He would want you to do - even if it is not what those around you want you to do.
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